A Great Read for Women

I recently was in a phenomenal study with some great friends where we read the book, "What's It Like to Be Married to Me?" by Linda Dillow. I really can't even find the right words to describe how honest, convicting, truthful, inspiring, and just plain awesome this book is. I had such a wonderful experience because my dear friend Leslie opened up her home to us every Thursday morning so that we could read, share, pray, laugh, and reflect. We arrived to a delicious homemade breakfast every single week and our cups were filled with wisdom and truth as we discussed each chapter and what challenged and inspired us. If you have a group of friends that you think would enjoy a study like this I highly recommend setting it up, even if you just meet at Starbucks.

Not only did these 10 weeks strengthen each of our marriages, they also fostered an environment for stronger, open, and honest friendships. I love these women and I am so grateful for this experience. I would recommend this book for all women-single or married. For those married with a strong, loving marriage or one that is on the rocks. For single women, it is a great preparation for marriage and truly discerning what kind of wife you want to be one day if God calls you to the vocation of marriage. So often in all sorts of relationships we look at all the many ways we would change the other person without taking the time to ask ourselves "dangerous questions" about ourselves as Dillow puts it. Asking those dangerous questions can truly be freeing and help us to see ourselves and our situations clearly.

On the last day of our study, we had a special brunch to share what we had all gotten out of our time together. Leslie is incredibly creative and thoughtful and she presented each of us with a beautiful pair of real pearl earrings. I wear mine practically everyday now not only because they are gorgeous but also to remind me of the encouraging words that she wrote and gave us along with the earrings. Here is what she wrote. I know you'll enjoy as much as I did. I keep this on my fridge now because it's just such a great reminder...

The oyster has the God given ability to take a tiny, irritating, grain of sand and coat it with layer after layer of its own shell, thereby protecting the mollusk from potential damage, and creating something beautiful inside. Each pearl created is very valuable and unique,shaped by the circumstances and environment of the one who created it. And for the pearl to be useful, the creature who created it has to die in order for the others to be able to enjoy it. 

In Matthew 13:46, Jesus liken the kingdom of heaven to a man searching for a valuable pearl. And when the man finds that pearl, he sells all he has to buy that pearl. 

You are your husband's pearl of great price. He has found you, and decided out of all the women in the world, that he wants you to be his. So he has committed his life to you. And now you, like the oyster, have the ability by God's grace, to take the irritating circumstances of your life and, layer by layer, allow our Creator to make something beautiful from them. Each situation is a valuable and unique opportunity. But you have to be willing to lay down your life and allow your inner radiance to shine for your husband and family.Only then will you find your purpose, and be the masterpiece you were uniquely designed and created to be. 

 Isn't she a beautiful writer?! I am about to read the book a second time because it's THAT good! So, if you've been looking for a reason to have girls nights more often or just to read something truly life changing on your own, here is my free advertisement for "What's it Like to be Married to Me?" Let me know if you read it or have already read it and what you think!

Messes and Grace

The last few months have been filled with adjustments. New baby, moving, staying with friends while waiting to move, sick kids, new career for my husband, and learning how to be a mommy of three. I wish I could say that I'm always looking at my situations from God's point of view, remaining calm, and loving unconditionally. But the fact of the matter is that I fall short daily. I stress about having a clean house, nursing my baby enough, giving my other children the love and attention they need, meal planning, and all in all, being just perfect. I don't really know why I set myself up for failure like that, but it's a habit I'm working on breaking. I don't think facebook and pinterest help much with that.

A few weeks ago I was frantically getting my three kiddos ready to leave so I could attend Bible study. I LOVE Bible study because of the fabulous women I get to spend time with, the growth and conviction, and of course the food :) But also, I love a little break from my mommy responsibilities. Bible study starts at 9:30 am. It takes me about 15 minutes to drive to church, then 15 minutes to get my kids out of the car and each dropped off at childcare. I really despise being late (you would think I would get over that by now) but  despite the craziness in the mornings, in my flesh I want to somehow control every little minute and make sure my kids behave exactly as I want them to, down to how many dirty diapers I have to change before we leave, so that we can get there on time, or even early.

The morning was going well. We were on schedule. Then my littlest cutie threw up all over his onesie right after I dressed him.You mommas out there know how that goes! I left the living room to go get him dressed again. I came back a few minutes later and as I was approaching the living room I heard some loud crinkling. I walked in to find my almost 3 year old son sitting on the couch with a HUGE  bag of chips that someone had left at our house. It should be noted that he had to climb up 3 of the shelves in the pantry to get the bag. This boy has got some skill! He panicked when he realized he was caught and decided that it would be a good idea to dump the entire bag on the couch and floor. Crumbled chips everywhere. And I should add that we have a major ant problem. I couldn't risk leaving the mess for when I got home because I knew I'd be greeted by a mound of ants. So, I started cleaning and I was ANGRY. I was complaining in my mind, "why do my kids seem to always make me late even if I wake up 3 or 4 hours before we have to leave? Why does he keep climbing even though he knows he's not supposed to?" I was not the mother I want to be in this moment. I yelled at him as I was shoving chips in the bag and was completely focused on myself, being on time, and how I don't want to clean another mess. I felt a subtle tugging at my heart, "Maggie, love him anyway. Be patient." I ignored the whisper.

As I was walking over to throw the bag away-10 minutes later-I tripped on a toy and the bag goes flying. Chips everywhere again! Of course looking back this is all pretty hilarious.Visualizing myself tripping, all in a huff, as my kids are trying to eat the chips they can snatch up before me. How obvious is it that God was trying to slow me down to forget about my frustration and let my son know that I love him?! This time I just left the mess and headed to church...20 minutes late. As I was driving I was just filled with stress and frustration. Zero joy. How ironic, driving to Bible study of all places, harboring resentment against my adorable, fun-loving, full of life, loveable 2 year old! Then the Holy Spirit spoke so clearly to my heart in a way that was so gentle, so loving, and so personal. "Maggie,I clean up your messes ALL THE TIME...and I do it with patience." Ugh! What a stab to the heart! I was immediately humbled as I saw my impatience and frustration for what it was-nasty dirty sin. I knew what I had to do. I apologized to Ethan and asked for his forgiveness. Even though he couldn't answer me and fully understand I knew it was what God would want me to do.

The Lord truly has cleaned up all sorts of messes in my life in all sorts of areas-relationships, stress, worry,sickness,finances,tasks, etc. And He cleans up these messes that I create, with such love and patience, just like I needed to do that morning. God didn't create my messes yet He still cares for me and helps me to figure them out without yelling at me or becoming resentful. Oh how I desire to be more like Christ! I can only imagine what kind of mother I would be.

So, when this happened today...

( yes, that is Ovaltine, water, and a cup. Yes, he was trying to make cholcolate milk while everyone was supposed to be napping. And yes, I had just mopped the floors. Gotta give it to him for determination. He did try to wake me up from my slumber and asked for chocolate milk. I didn't quite get the message so he took matters into his own hands.)

I was able to handle it with more love and patience because I remembered how God gently rescued me from my sin over the chips incident and I didn't want to have to be reminded again. I was able to look at the mess and see that it was just his curiosity and determination and of course, deep love for chocolate milk, that lead up to this mess. Then I could just laugh and show him how to help me clean it. I did learn another lesson along the way. Sometimes when we make poor choices God has to let us learn our lessons with inconvienent or painful consequences. For Ethan, that meant that he couldn't have chocolate milk in the end because it all ended up on the floor. For us, it may mean that we can't take advantage of that beautiful opportunity to grow closer to someone we love because we chose ourselves and our desires instead-and the moment passed away.

How has God cleaned up your messes recently and done so with grace,mercy,patience, and forgiveness?



Is there someone in your life that has created some messes for you, intentionally or unintentionally, that you need to forgive?

"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. " Ephesians 4:31-32